The truth has been revealed, and I’m out $100.
“This might surprise the millions of fans trying to guess who’s the genius behind the hit Web series, You Suck At Photoshop, but no, it’s not the comedian Dane Cook. It’s not Will Ferrell, either.”
Read the entire article from Time magazine, The Photoshop Guys Revealed!
These dudes suck at keeping a secret and sold out to Time magazine. At least I don’t suck at that. I also don’t suck at Photoshop.
Ahem. I got myself in pretty deep this time. All my posturing, swaggering and carrying on may cost me $100, or maybe I’ll win and become even more irrepressible. In any case, my friend Jack has laid the ground rules under no uncertain terms.
The Controversy that spawned…”The Bet”:
Is the faceless lecturer, introduced as “Donnie Hoyle” of the “You Suck at Photoshop-Tutorials” internet viral video series, the actor/comedian “Dane Cook”? (pictured below) …Or, is it someone else entirely?
Actor/“Comedian”: Dane Cook
Participant No.1 of The Bet, “Liz”:
Claims that said lecturer, without a doubt, IS actor/comedian “Dane Cook.”
Participant No.2 of The Bet, “Jack”:
Claims that said lecturer, without a doubt, IS NOT actor/comedian “Dane Cook.”
The Stakes of The Bet:
$100.00 USD (payable by cash, check, or PayPal)
The Rules of The Bet:
1. In order to win The Bet, either party (participants “Liz” or “Jack”) must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that his or her particular claim is TRUE by presenting irrefutable proof of that claim, as mentioned above:
a. In order to win The Bet, Liz must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the “comedic lecturer” of this viral video series IS actor/comedian Dane Cook.
b. In order to win The Bet, Jack must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the “comedic lecturer” of this viral video series IS NOT actor/comedian Dane Cook.
NOTE: The Bet does not require correctly identifying the actual individual (if it IS NOT Dane Cook) whose voice is heard as the lecturer of this viral video series, be it the so-called “Donnie Hoyle”as self-introduced by the lecturer of the viral video series (and as listed in some of the video’s credits and on blogsites pertaining to the viral video series), or be it some other actor, comedian, or previously unknown individual, i.e. some “random dude.” The only requirement is that the participants must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the said lecturer whose voice is heard in the viral video series is either: a) Dane Cook, or b) NOT Dane Cook, respective to each participants’ claim.
In order to win The Bet, either participant must prove his or her claim as to whether or not the lecturer’s voice is that of actor/comedian Dane Cook. If the writer or creator of the viral video series is an individual OTHER than the individual heard speaking as the lecturer of the viral video series, then correctly identifying that person, be it Dane Cook or not, does not secure a win of The Bet by either participant. The Issue: it is the VOICE of the lecturer in this viral video series that must be identified/determined as being that of actor/comedian Dane Cook, or NOT. The actual writer/creator of this viral video series, IF differing from the identity of the lecturer heard in the viral video series, is irrelevant in The Bet, and therefore presenting evidence, proof, or knowledge of this individual’s identity does not secure a win for either participant.
2. If the individual whose voice is that of the lecturer is NOT Dane Cook, Liz cannot win The Bet by correctly determining the actual identity of the individual, nor will doing so cancel The Bet. In fact, any such determination by Liz that the voice of the lecturer is NOT Dane Cook will serve to support Jack’s official claim that the lecturer is NOT Dane Cook, and therefore securing the win of The Bet for Jack.
3. There is no deadline or time limit for either party to prove his or her claim.
4. The Loser of The Bet must pay The Winner of The Bet $100.00 USD by way of cash, check, or via PayPal account, within 30 calendar days (Earth calendar days, ahem…); failure to comply with this rule will force The Loser to live in agonizing shame and humiliation for all eternity, and will force The Loser to become “The Official Be-Otch” of The Winner of The Bet for the rest of linear time as we know it, according to the laws of current Newtonian physics (and not quantum laws, in this case.)
5. NOTE: The participating party in The Bet known as “Liz” must respond to this email (which states the Official Rules of The Bet and is a legally binding contract) by 11:00pm EST (8:00pm PST), Sunday, February 3, 2008, in order to officially agree to and comply with The Rules of The Bet, thereby allowing The Bet to officially stand until it is deemed “over” as defined by The Rules of The Bet. Liz must provide an email response to Jack that she has read this email and the Rules of The Bet contained within, has agreed to those rules, and thereby wishes to proceed with The Bet as laid out in The Rules of The Bet. If Liz wishes to make any changes or addendums to The Rules of The Bet, she must do so in writing (via email) by the time limit mentioned above. If Liz fails to respond to this email by this time limit, The Bet will be officially terminated.
I suppose if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it completely! Anyone who has evidence to support my claim, please contact me immediately. Thank you!
It’s funny, putting together a web page is more nostalgic to me than anything else. That old familiar frustration of nothing ever really working the way it’s supposed to. So yes, tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1996. I’m going to put an index page up so you don’t have to look at a list of abandoned directories. Imagine that.
I made my first web pages in 1996, back when we used to chat on the freenet, using IRC, barefoot, in the snow, backwards. It’s too easy to chat now, it’s obvious. I need to find another obscure mode of communication. Maybe I’ll learn morse code. As for the blog world, been here done this, too, but it’s fun to write publicly.
If there still isn’t an index page by 12AM 1/20, send for help.
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